The Story of Hairy Red and Jake the Kid

Rev. Dr. Rod Sykes’ sermon for

Stampede Sunday July 13, 2008

Read: Genesis 25:19-34

Gather ‘round, all you young ‘uns, and set yourselves down. Lay your blankets ‘round the campfire and put your head on your saddle, ‘cause it’s time ol’ Rattler Rod gave ya a talkin’ to. I been hearin’ from the cow hands that you greenhorns are discontent. You got saddle sores. Don’t like the vittles that Cookie’s dishing out. Grumblin’ that this cattle drive is going on too long. Thinkin’ you’ve made a mistake joinin’ up. Feelin’ like you don’t belong. In short, you greenhorns are not at “home on the range”. Among ya’s there is often “heard a discouragin’ word!”

So I got a lesson fer ya. Listen up. I’m gonna tell ya the story of Hairy Red and Jake the Kid.

Hairy Red and Jake the Kid was brothers. Twin brothers, in a ranchin’ family. Fact is, they was born on the trail, ‘cause their Momma drove herd ‘longside their old man. Time came for them to be born, and the bigger one came first. And man, he was ugly. All covered in red fur, like a fox. So they named ‘im “Red”, and everyone called ‘im “Hairy Red”. Right after Hairy Red was born came the second boy, nippin’ at his heels. Yessirree, he was holding onto Hairy Red’s heel, holding on for dear life, on account of how he was so small, just a runt.

So they called him Jake the Kid, although as he grew up people called him Jake the Heel, ‘cause he was so sneaky. See, to get along in this world he had to grasp hold of other folks in a kind of sly way, just like he started out holdin’ on to his brother’s foot.

Twins they was, but as they grew up they weren’t really close. Hairy Red was a born cowboy. He loved the big sky and the open range. Loved his horse as much as his Momma. He was strong and silent and hairy like a big red bear. And, yep, stubborn as a bear, too. But Jake the Kid, he was a homeboy, quiet-like but always on the lookout for his chance. He hung around his Momma, and planted a garden at the ranch, full of vegetables. He was one of those – what you call ‘em?– vegetarians.

So this one time Hairy Red comes home just tuckered out. He’d worked on the range from sunrise to sunset, and he’s dirty and sweaty and hungry. “The hungry man is home!”, he hollers, laughin’. “So hungry I could eat a horse!” So he goes to the ranch house kitchen, and there’s Jake the Kid, fixing up a big steaming pot of... lentils! Not your hungry-man stew, not your good ol’ AAA Alberta beef. But lentils. Lentils that Jake had grown in his very own little garden. “What ya got there, brother?”, shouts Red. “I’m a hungry man!” Jake smiles, kind of sly-like, and says: “Lentils. Not your run-of-the-mill, salt pork and molasses, everyday beans. Lentils.”

Hairy Red looks puzzled. “But they look s like beans, little tiny beans.”

“ These are better than beans”, says Jake. “These are red – red just like you, brother – red lentils in a brand-new traditional Old South fire wagon BBQ sauce, hotter than high noon in the Sierra Madre’s, guaranteed to fill you up and keep you awake all night!”

“Hot-diggity!”, shouts Hairy Red, “Jes’ let me at them thar’ little tiny beans! I’m a hungry man!”

“Just one little thing”, says Jake the Kid. “If you eat all the lentil stew, I’ll have to order in some more vittles for everybody else. So I’ll have to charge ya for this meal. How ‘bout... we make a trade?”

“A trade?”, asks Hairy Red.

“Sure. Gimme something ya don’t really need. Like... Well, ya know how Poppa has it lined up to leave ya the ranch and everything, given ya the deed to the land and the mine and that sticky black stuff come out of the ground. What’re you gonna do with all that? Ya don’t need all that stuff – you’re a cowboy at heart. So... ya might... maybe... go fetch the deed and sign it over to me.”

“Dang it all!” shouts Hairy Red. “I’m a hungry man! Here ya go, little brother, I’m signing all that stuff over to ya, ‘cause I really don’t give a toot. I jus’ gotta get me some of them little red beans.”

Now, young ‘uns, folks around these parts tell this story of the twins, and they always talk about Jake the Kid, and how he done so well, and how the good Lord prospered him despite the fact he was some kind o’scoundrel. They say it’s a praise to the good Lord’s name that he took hold of Jake the Heel and used ‘im, used ‘im real good. For when the old man died Jake took over the ranch and the gold mine and the oil well. Pretty soon he owned half the Territory. Pretty soon after that he became Governor of this here State. And he was a good Governor, did a lot of good for a lot of folks. So people round these parts give thanks to God and say they’re proud to be children of Abraham and Isaac and Jake the Kid.

But what about Hairy Red? What happened to him? Folks think he wasn’t just big and ugly but dumb. They’d say, “Of all the boneheaded, thick-skulled things to do, how could he be so stupid as to sell his birthright for a pot of little red beans!?!” See, they forget the other part of the story. So I’m going to tell you what happened to Hairy Red.

He left the family ranch soon as Jake took over. He realized how Jake had cheated him, and he was angry. He was mad. He was hopping mad, mad as a cricket on a wood stove. So he cleared out and worked as a cowpoke for other folks. But then a little filly caught his eye, and pretty soon he settled down with her on a ranch of their own, and pretty soon he had a whole posse o’ little ‘uns, and they all worked hard, so that before long Mr. Red owned the other half of the Territory.

Still the brothers didn’t speak. But Governor Jake, as he now was, heard about Red’s success in life. So there came a day when Governor Jake was out politicking for the next election, and knew he had to venture into Mr. Red’s home turf, and knew he finally had to approach him and own up to what he had done. They met at the edge of the town where Mr. Red now lived, and as they approached each other Jake’s knees were a-knockin’. It was like a showdown at high noon. He knew in his heart that his brother had every right to shoot him down like a dog. But Hairy Red came up whoopin’ and hollerin’ and grinnin’.

Jake had his little speech all figured out, “What I did was wrong,” he said, “and I should repay you. Let me give ya half of everything I own.”

But Hairy Red said: “No way, little brother. I been foolish. I made my mistakes. I suffered some hard times. But still the good Lord has looked after me and blessed me. I have enough, more than enough. You keep what you got. God’s been good to both of us.” And he gave him a hug, a big red bear hug. And the two brothers were together, just like when they was born.

So remember, young ‘uns, when you’re feeling like the trail’s pretty hard and you’ve taken the wrong turn and you’ve messed up and you don’t belong – kind of like Hairy Red – remember that the good Lord blessed not just Jake the Kid but also Hairy Red, in his own way and his own time.

Now it’s time to hit the sack. Trail’s a-waitin’ for us, tomorra. Off ya go.